*Healing
After Divorce*
*Presented
by: Jessica Stockman, LPC *March
3, 2012 *Memphis
Stake Women’s Conference*
*“Come
unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”* (Matthew 11:28)
*Emotional
Effects of Divorce*
ØSadness
ØLoneliness
ØEmptiness
ØBitterness
ØAnger/Hostility
ØConfusion
ØLack
of self confidence
ØDenial
ØBlame
ØHopelessness
ØDecreased
church attendance
ØNegative
self esteem
ØIsolation
& withdrawal
ØLack
of motivation
ØEmotionally
numb
ØAbandonment
ØGuilt
ØResentment
*Effects
of Divorce on Children*
üDenial
üAbandonment
üPreoccupation
with information
üAnger/Hostility
üDepression
üImmaturity/Hyperactivity
üPreoccupation
with reconciliation
üBlame/Guilt
üActing
Out
üStress
*Let the Healing Begin*
*Principles
to Build Emotional & Spiritual Strength
vSecure
family identity
vOne
on one time with each family member
vPromote
Self Reliance
vFocus
on Physical Health
vPositive
Role Models
vPositive
Support
Systems
vHealthy
Relationships
vPersonal
Time for Self
*Maintaining a Secure Family
*Continue
family traditions
*Honor
Family Rules
*Consistent
with Discipline
*Maintain
family routines
*Church
attendance
*Family
Prayer
*Scripture
Study
*FHE
*Meal
time together
*One on One Time with Family Members
*Talk to children one on one
*Listen to your children
*Schedule “dates” with children
*Promote Self Reliance
*Respect
your children’s opinions
*Do
not over rely on your children
*Do
not push them prematurely into adulthood
*Encourage
development of friendships and age appropriate activities to foster
independence
*Physical Health
*Eat
well balanced meals
*Keep
bodies healthy (have regular check ups)
*Regular
exercise programs
*Take
family walks or bike rides
*Positive Role Models
*Priesthood
leaders
*Scoutmasters
*Home/Visiting
Teachers
*Primary
Teachers
*Young
Women Leaders
*Extended
Family Members
*School
Teachers
*Seminary
Teachers
*Family
Friends
*Positive Support Systems
*Priesthood
Leaders
*Visiting/Home
Teachers
*Close
Family & Friends
*Co-workers
*Support
Groups
*Healthy Relationships
*Avoid
conflict or criticism in front of children
*Do
not use children as weapons against one another
*Fast
and pray for the children’s father
*Personal Time for Self
*Develop
and enhance personal strengths
*Exercise
*Journal
*Attend
the temple
*Hold
church callings
*Draw
on the strength of others
*Do
not live in self pity
*Provide
service
*Draw
on the power of the Atonement
*Forgive
self & others
Conclusion
And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions” Mosiah 24:14
*References
*www.mediate.com Psychological & Emotional Aspects of
Divorce;
O’Connell Corcoran, Kathleen.
*www.lds.org A
Time to Heal. Scott, Lynn Clarke. Ensign April 1989