March 2012 Stake Women's Conference Info

*Healing After Divorce*

*Presented by:  Jessica Stockman, LPC  *March 3, 2012 *Memphis Stake Women’s Conference*  

*“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”* (Matthew 11:28)

*Emotional Effects of Divorce*

ØSadness 

ØLoneliness

ØEmptiness

ØBitterness

ØAnger/Hostility

ØConfusion

ØLack of self confidence

ØDenial

ØBlame

ØHopelessness

ØDecreased church attendance

ØNegative self esteem

ØIsolation & withdrawal

ØLack of motivation

ØEmotionally numb

ØAbandonment

ØGuilt

ØResentment

*Effects of Divorce on Children*

üDenial

üAbandonment

üPreoccupation with information

üAnger/Hostility

üDepression

üImmaturity/Hyperactivity

üPreoccupation with reconciliation

üBlame/Guilt

üActing Out

üStress

*Let the Healing Begin*

*Principles to Build Emotional & Spiritual Strength

vSecure family identity

vOne on one time with each family member

vPromote Self Reliance

vFocus on Physical Health

vPositive Role Models

vPositive Support Systems

vHealthy Relationships

vPersonal Time for Self

*Maintaining a Secure Family

*Continue family traditions

*Honor Family Rules

*Consistent with Discipline

*Maintain family routines

*Church attendance

*Family Prayer

*Scripture Study

*FHE

*Meal time together

*One on One Time with Family Members

*Talk to children one on one

*Listen to your children

*Schedule “dates” with children

*Promote Self Reliance

*Respect your children’s opinions

*Do not over rely on your children

*Do not push them prematurely into adulthood

*Encourage development of friendships and age appropriate activities to foster independence

*Physical Health

*Eat well balanced meals

*Keep bodies healthy (have regular check ups)

*Regular exercise programs

*Take family walks or bike rides

*Positive Role Models

*Priesthood leaders

*Scoutmasters

*Home/Visiting Teachers

*Primary Teachers

*Young Women Leaders

*Extended Family Members

*School Teachers

*Seminary Teachers

*Family Friends

*Positive Support Systems

*Priesthood Leaders

*Visiting/Home Teachers

*Close Family & Friends

*Co-workers

*Support Groups

*Healthy Relationships

*Avoid conflict or criticism in front of children

*Do not use children as weapons against one another

*Fast and pray for the children’s father

*Personal Time for Self

*Develop and enhance personal strengths

*Exercise

*Journal

*Attend the temple

*Hold church callings

*Draw on the strength of others

*Do not live in self pity

*Provide service

*Draw on the power of the Atonement

*Forgive self & others

Conclusion

And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions” Mosiah 24:14

*References

*www.mediate.com  Psychological & Emotional Aspects of Divorce; O’Connell Corcoran, Kathleen.

*www.lds.org  A Time to Heal.  Scott, Lynn Clarke.  Ensign April 1989